This is funny...

I got this email today, and it was SO funny, so I thought what better place to share it than on here. The middle wife, by anonymous 2ND grade teacher. I have been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid I loved show and tell, so I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually show and tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch,stuff like that. I never ever place any limitations or boundaries on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, their welcome. Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for like an hour, Oh, Oh, Oh!" (now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.) "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.) "Then, pop! My mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!) "Then the middle wife starts saying, "push, push and breathe, breathe." They started counting, but never got past ten. Then all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there." Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another "Middle Wife" comes along. The email said to pass this on to make people laugh, so since I don't' have all your emails, I thought this would be better. I hope it made you all laugh!